Thursday, April 16, 2009

A poem...from me to you


Yes I'm athletic, but I don't like to play games. I don't run around playing football with someone's feelings, I didn't throw my heart at you so you can catch it and play a little baseball with it. I don't say "tag, you're it", cuz when I was "it" I let you know it.  And you froze like a game of freeze tag, and when I touched you...

...nothing happened. I melted into your charm, and you played skip-it into my heart, and I hopscotched around the idea that we would ever be apart. And you and I...we did this, over and over. Going round and round the merry-go-round until there was an interference...and someone else was on your playground. You left me in the quicksand box sinking farther and farther until all I could see were memories. Not being strong enough to pull myself out, I just cried. I cried...and I cried until my tears hardened the sand and I could finally stand. I touched all the bases and ran home. I ran all the way home to my mom and I cried. But not even her kisses could make it all better.

All it took was a crooked smile to move you straight back into my life and we started playing. We played hide and seek, but you were the only one hiding and I was the only one seeking and when I found didn't want to be found. You wanted to keep we played. We played the game Sorry until my ears bled and my heart ached. Until I realized that I was just a pawn that you had in check. I wasn't a queen to anyone's king, I was a jester that entertained your ego.

So I said "shoots" and climbed the highest ladder to try and find my dignity and ask God "why...why did he do this to me?"

And I knew it was time to move on, but like a hula hoop I was wrapped around you. Emotionally hugging every inch of you even if you didn't want me to. See, our relationship was like a game of charades. Like living in a movie, a love scene, looking for 3 words not knowing this was a silent film with no subtitles to help me. 

And we rang around the rosies with our pockets FULL of posies. His ashes, my ashes. We all fall, we both fall, but I was the only one to fall. I skinned my knee and I'd do it again because I knew with you happiness was just around the river bend. And some days it was a green light, most it was a red light, but it really didn't matter it was all just a stop light. I let you tug-a-rope with my insides cuz when you'd "red rover, red rover" and call me right over, I would run to you hoping that didn't wanna play. I even triple dog dared you to just hold my hand skipping past the birds and the bees, but I was so naive. Too young to know that you liked to play these games, that you were the inventor of these games. 

well, I don't play monopoly in this game of life, so "sorry" trix are for kids and I'm grown, unashamed, with no one to blame. Yes, I'm athletic but I don't play those games.


Blogger Emerson said...

you go girl!! Silly rabbit the boy knows not what he lost.

April 16, 2009 at 4:21 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Victoria C said...

this is really lovely writing.

April 18, 2009 at 7:33 PM  
OpenID peacebetween said...

umm.......i adored this.

April 27, 2009 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger CC. said...

i really enjoyed all your metaphors. great piece!

April 28, 2009 at 9:04 AM  

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